Workout because you love your body, not because you hate it
My therapist told me that it is important to take some time off by yourself, away from distractions and just focus on yourself once in a week and at the very least, once in a month — focus on your struggles, your pains and look at where you have come so far. And if you realised that you have improved, no matter how big or small, celebrate the winnings — and stop being hung up on the little times you have slipped.
Meet Janelle — she weighs 42kg, 16% body fat, eats restrictively (cut carbs fats and even FRUITS sugar), weigh herself everyday obsessively, squeeze her rolls and wishes she can get rid of them, gets insanely obsessed over instagram fitness girls, and her aim was to get skinnier, skinnier and skinnier because she thinks being able to see your ribs cage is hella sexy. And this was the Janelle who thinks maybe it is okay to even lose your period because that thing is nasty every month anyway.
And lets fast forward 5 years later — meet Janelle, sure shes 8–10kg heavier, she stopped weighing herself, she eats her carbs when she wants to, she drinks a cup of hot chocolate when she feels like it, and she treats her body right by feeding it the right wholesome nutrients. She goes to the gym, and her aim is no longer trying to have the nicest butt, nicest abs and the longest run on the threadmill — shes improving on her functionality her mobility and she gives gratitude to what her body can do and cannot do. There are days she feels bad when she has a lot of big heavy meals but she doesn’t blame herself excessively nor starve herself anymore — she tells herself its okay and that everything is a process and a cycle.
And today, I want to give gratitude to my mind and my courage for coming through on this journey so far. When I set my mind a year back to start loving my body, I knew it was not going to be easy and I knew it was going to be scary. The funny thing is, if you tell your mind every day that you are beautiful, inside out, your mind is going to start believing it. And its true. While I was on a phone with a friend, sobbing my heart out over my latest drama, all of a sudden I turned and looked at myself in the reflection off a shop house and this thought came to myself: “Oh wow I haven’t realised this but I really don’t hate my body anymore.”
And in that moment I realised — there are other things in my life to be happy about, that I shouldn’t be focused on a small thing that isn’t working out and be all upset over it. And if you can keep falling in love with your mind and body, one day you will slowly love yourself and accept yourself for the way you are — and you will be able to overcome these insecurities self-worth problems. I am sure of that because you were stronger than who you were yesterday and you were stronger than the girl who were at rock bottom last year.